Blah, Blah, Blah

13 Oct

When people start making excuses about something, all I hear is “blah, blah, blah.” There’s a certain pitch to someone’s voice when they’re making an excuse—a particular note they hit that tips you off that an excuse is coming. So, I tune out for a moment, hearing the Charlie Brown adults’ “Wah wah wah wah.”

Does that make me heartless? Not compassionate? Unable to sympathize?

No. If people really want to make something happen, they will make it happen. Come hell or high water, if someone really cares about something—whether it’s meeting up with somebody, buying a certain product, taking a special trip— they will find some way for it to occur. Life is a series of choices and priorities and when I hear someone making an excuse to me, what I hear through the “blah blah blah” is “Your thing isn’t as important as my thing.”

action-expresses-priorities

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Your set of priorities is quite different from my set of priorities, and I respect that. I’m tired of people not owning up to that and spinning out a set of elaborate excuses and a complicated story when a simple, “Sorry, I can’t make it. Sorry, I don’t want to. Sorry, I’m out of town. Sorry, something came up,” would suffice. You’re not going to hurt my feelings, I promise.

I recognize that life does get in the way of all of our best plans. Unexpected car troubles, extreme weather, emergencies, etc., make valid reasons for not being able to do something. But sometimes, people hold on to those occurrences and turn them into their “story,” blowing them up into something dramatic and ongoing instead of moving on.

Notice yourself over the next few days. How often do you start to create an elaborate excuse to someone when a simple statement is all it would take? Do you think they really care about your dog’s alopecia and how it’s preventing you from meeting for coffee?

excuse

Notice also how frequently you make excuses to yourself. “I can’t eat well, it’s too expensive. I can’t go to a breakfast networking event because I’m not a morning person. I can’t approach this person I admire, I’m not confident enough.”

Making excuses to yourself and to others drains your energy, bogs you down, and prevents you from reaching certain goals. I think about it like throwing a dart to the bull’s eye. Whatever it is that you want to achieve is the bull’s eye. If you’re trying to hit the bull’s eye, you don’t start off by dancing around in a circle and then throwing the dart. If you decide to not throw the dart, you don’t jump up and down a few times before putting the dart down. You either do something or you don’t.

No excuses.

What do you think? How do you feel when you don’t make an excuse? Do you have a problem with excuses like I do? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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One Response to “Blah, Blah, Blah”

  1. LaVondilyn J. Watson October 13, 2014 at 8:02 pm #

    Very well said, my friend. Well said! As I have gotten more and more confident in my skin, and at peace with the word “no”, I find myself not even offering explanations anymore. A simple “No, I’m sorry I can’t” or a “perhaps another time” will suffice. How freeing it is to own your time and guiltlessly make life decisions…#lifesimplified

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